Social Hang Ups – The Element of Fear in Business

I was walking with my 5 year old and she was riding her bike. It was about 76 degrees out and breezy. I was comfortable but she was hot peddling away at that bike which was just a little too small. She told me she wanted a drink of water. We were out of luck since the house was still half of a mile away. She said we should stop at the house that we were passing by. I carefully explained the etiquette of strangers who just can’t go up and ask for things. She said well we just walk up and tell them our names then ask for water. She was thinking then we aren’t strangers any longer. How totally sweet and logical. No?

It occurred to me that five year olds have no social hang ups. I thought if we only had the fortitude of five year olds as business owners. How many times have you wanted to walk up and ask for someone’s attention but hesitated because you just might be rejected? It just wasn’t in my 5 year old’s realm of thinking. If it were I don’t think she would have cared anyhow.

Do you want to break through those hesitations? I sure do.

Risk comes in all sorts of forms. Risk for you may be to learn a new skill. It may be to actually list that item on eBay without any prior experience. It may be to ask a question on a forum. We all have varying levels of what equates to risk taking. For me, sometimes those risks are doing something that gets me out from behind the computer. I don’t know about you but to live in the virtual world can be a comfort zone in of itself. It’s a bit less personal and can be easier to say and do things I may not feel comfortable doing if I were looking you in the eyeballs.

One such activity that can be fear producing is going to conferences that teach people how to grow their businesses. Aside from the normal head games I have to play with myself about going in thinking I can’t afford the money or time, it has been a little nerve wracking to go where I know no one and am completely out of my element. For an OCD tendency type like me, seemed it would be painful to experience this new event and get out of my comfort zone. Scary. What if I look like I am stupid? Um, isn’t that why we go? To learn? (Logic never resides with fear.)

All of the ‘can’t do’ thoughts are a show stopper for many people. The mental gymnastics alone with the three hurdles I mentioned are exhausting.  Time, money, uncharted territory can be big obstacles in our mindset.  However, I read that if we’re not pushing a bit and hanging out on that edge then we aren’t progressing. I want my business to progress, to grow, to move up. Don’t you?

Now what I do when I see opportunity masking itself as fear is that I try to face it. I go through a process of asking myself questions. Why am I hesitant? Is it a bad business decision or is it that mouse behind the microphone again telling me lies about how uncomfortable I’ll be? Then I hit the more practical questions. What specific goals can I accomplish by doing this? How can I afford this? What can I do to afford this? Is the skill set I will learn  transferable to my children giving me double my time and money investment? Better yet, can I bring a kid or two along with me to learn, too?

I love this quote, “Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive — the risk to be alive and express what we really are.” Don Miguel Ruiz

Just being authentic and genuine is my advice to people who are nervous and afraid of bad outcomes. Especially if they’re dealing with a new situation I tell them to think through the worse case scenario. Then I get them to think through the possible lessons learned even if the worst were to happen (it never does). Know that if you don’t like the outcome of a feared situation you can always tweak the plan a bit and create a new outcome. Sometimes it’s as simple as a small mind shift from a “I can’t” to a “I might not know how or be afraid, but I’ll try and learn” thought process.

Oh, and I should mention that the last time I went through a fear process in the thought of traveling husband-less to a conference, I just went. It was THE best experience so far. I learned so much and still have friends I keep in contact with from that conference. I love when the outcome is way better than what I imagined. See it can go the other way – it can be way better, too!

Please tell me some of your fears in your online businesses. Perhaps just getting it down on paper — er, pixels will help you put it in focus. I’d love to hear what your struggles are.

Your Partner to Online Success,

PS If you’re like I used to be and really hesitate to invest in your business by going to a training seminar, this is the best place to start. I’ve been to a few conferences over the years and this event is full of the most authentic, real, non judgmental and non clique type people in America. I’ll be there. They, the speakers, AND attendees truly have a mindset to help YOU succeed not to sell you on their product or services. As a matter of fact, there were no tables with products set up there. Nope, not even after a speaker’s session. None. You will feel comfortable not pressured in the least. Take a look at my favorite online business training conference and maybe this will be one of your faced fears. Let’s conquer it together.

Tagged as: fear in business, Online Business, risk taking